Thursday, June 16, 2005

It's the Gulag, Dick

It’s official, Al Jazeera has deified the great Senator from Illinois. Yes, Dick, Durbin, is apparently now a hero of the radical Islamic movement.

How did all this start, you ask? Well, with this well thought out comment:

When you read some of the graphic descriptions of what has occurred here [at Guantanamo Bay]--I almost hesitate to put them in the [Congressional] Record, and yet they have to be added to this debate. Let me read to you what one FBI agent saw. And I quote from his report:

‘On a couple of occasions, I entered interview rooms to find a detainee chained hand and foot in a fetal position to the floor, with no chair, food or water. Most times they urinated or defecated on themselves, and had been left there for 18-24 hours or more. On one occasion, the air conditioning had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. . . . On another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees. The detainee was almost unconscious on the floor, with a pile of hair next to him. He had apparently been literally pulling his hair out throughout the night. On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but extremely loud rap music was being played in the room, and had been since the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal position on the tile floor.’

If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime--Pol Pot or others--that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.

Again with the ‘gulag’ analogy, Libs? For a little history on the actual Gulag Archipelago, see here. In fact a little history might be just what you idiots who believe this makes any sense really need. Our troops compared to Nazis? Or Pol Pot? If ignorance is bliss, Mr. Durbin lives in eternal ecstacy.

If I had read the above and didn’t know it slipped between the reptilian lips of an American Senator, I might certainly believe this must have come from Bin Laden himself, the KGB, or some other anti-American regime—the U.N. or others–that had no concern for Americans and American troops throughout the world. Sadly, this is not the case. These words were those of a U.S. Senator.

I’ve said it before on this blog...Senator, you put the ‘Dick’ in Durbin.

So, did the great mind that poses as an American legislator realize he had spouted some of the most inciteful rhetoric this side of Al Zarqawi. No, of course not, he is a leftist loon. There is just this:

Sen. Dick Durbin refused to apologize Wednesday for comments he made on the Senate floor comparing the actions of American soldiers at Guantanamo Bay to Nazis, Soviet gulags and a "mad regime" like Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot's in Cambodia...

..."This administration should apologize to the American people for abandoning the Geneva Conventions and authorizing torture techniques that put our troops at risk and make Americans less secure," Durbin said in a statement Wednesday evening.

Hmmm, Mr. Turbin (did I misspell that again? Damn!) so Bush abandoned the Geneva Convention? Seems you’ve abandoned all conventional thought. Or any thought for that matter.

And I realize my mother told me not to pick on the retarded, but I have to make an exception here.

I am not calling for an apology from you, Dick. Because I understand this doesn’t quite rise to the level of a lynching. A lynching, by the way, for which you personally had absolutely nothing to do with. What I am requesting is your resignation, Dick. Immediately.

You, sir, are the lucky recipient of the pussification that has been blanketed upon our great country by your anti-American party. If you had spoken these words during WWI or WWII Dick, you would surely have been arrested for treason.

But I am not naive Dick, I know you will not resign. And I think I even know why it is you chose to spout your treasonous nonsense. You are not a novice politician. You were surely aware that your words would cause an uproar. So what were you thinking?
Here’s my take...Dick, you’ve seen that Mr. Dean has appealed to the far left with his hateful angry words. You see the meteoric rise of Obama. You see Ms. Rodham is moving to the center, you must know she will be the Democratic nominee on ‘08. Yet you still lust for power. Oh, what to do? Well, appeal to the loony Left, of course. Hate America, become their hero. Run for president in 2008. Drop out of the race. Let Ms. Rodham know you would make a great ‘have the moonbats in your back pocket’. That is what you do. And I believe, that is what you did.

Good luck with that. If by ‘luck’ I mean not only losing the Senate race in ‘08, but Hillary laughing in your smug, pudgy face. Dick.

P.S. I will be happy to personally pay for your plane ticket out of Illinois...something you are obviously well acquainted with, Dick.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

There is a Cure

A shout out to Dennis Prager who today was discussing how a parent feels when a child decides to join the Marines. He alluded to and finally came to the conclusion that Liberalism is basically a feminine ideology.
That got Cracker and I to thinking.
If one looks at much that is connected to the ideology of Liberalism, one finds Mr. Prager’s thoughts hold much merit.
Let us start by looking at Socialism. A Liberal cornerstone. Women, by and large are much more social creatures than men. They often cocoon themselves with friends and family, working together for a common cause. They are, and ladies these are generalizations, much less likely to be competitive than the average man. Competition is at it foundation capitalism. Liberals hate Capitalism. Liberals seem not to understand, and thus fear competition. How many men have heard their significant others ask them, “Why are you and your friends so competitive? I just don’t get it. Me and my girlfriends don’t feel any need to act in such a loutish manner.” Of course, Hillary is the exception that proves the rule, but we’ll get back to that later.
Next, Liberals are the party of appeasement. They, for the most part tend to be non-confrontational. Sound familiar to any of you ladies? How many Oprah programs are about this very trait. ‘Women must learn to say No’. Ever heard that statement? Pick up this months Cosmopolitan. This does not mean the feminine is not argumentative...we know that is just not true. But for the most part women tend to avoid a physical altercation at all costs. The masculine knows there are times it’s unavoidable. Liberals will fight, but normally verbally and only with an enemy they feel is safe. I.E. screaming about the horrors of ‘the glass ceiling’ in the U.S., but ignoring the true outrage of female circumcision in the Middle East and Africa.
And of course there is the characteristic of nurturing. A feminine trait if there ever was one. The sometimes painfully illogical feeling that one must help the needy with every single solitary aspect of their lives. The feeling that the every person, even those who make mistake after mistake in their own private lives, deserve societies help. Require societies protection. Rely on Mother Government for every petty want and desire. Thus fostering the need to be needed. Which brings us to our next point.
Liberals show their feminine side in their almost self sacrificing need to be loved. There seems to be no point too low for them to crouch just to feel loved by the world community. They will admit to anything just to look good to the French and Kofi Anan. Ladies, don’t be insulted here, but the fact is you will do things to yourselves no real man on Earth would even consider doing just to be noticed or admired.
These are but a few of the analogous comparisons between Liberals and the feminine. But what do we learn from this? I’m not sure what a sane, logical human would learn, but here is what Cracker and I came up with. That if Liberals are effeminate, then what has caused this? It very well could be the radical feminist agenda and the feminization of America, but we feel it is something much more profound. We believe that Liberals lack testosterone. They simply have a chemical imbalance. And thus they can be cured.
Here is our plan. We are collaborating with a major pharmaceutical company to market testosterone tablets. They will be sold under the name of ‘Just Grow Some’. They will be available in various doses, depending on the level of mental dysfunction. They range from aspirin size tablets for people like John McCain, to pills the size of grapefruits for Howard Dean and Ted Kennedy...Hey, Mr. Kennedy that might taste good with vodka!
We are not naive. We understand that many Liberals will choose not to self medicate and cure their personality disorders, so we have a Plan ‘B’. We are contacting NASA in regards to a cloud seeding program to begin at once.
So you might want to keep an eye on CNN and CSPAN and watch for your favorite Progressives squirming in their seats. We promised to return to Ms. Clinton and here is where she fits in. Most probably you won’t notice much difference in the personality of this sweet lady...for much the same reason you wouldn’t see a change in Rosie O’Donnell.

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Party of Yes

Maybe we have been a little hard on the Democrats of late. I know I have often heard them referred to recently as ‘The Party of No’. In fact, I’ve done so myself. But now, I’m not quite so sure they deserve this moniker. In fact, I think you can show that if you looked at them a little differently, just maybe they would more accurately be tagged as ‘The Party of Yes’.
For instance, they scream ‘Yes’ to abortion on demand, partial birth abortion, and non-parental notification of abortion by pregnant teens and pre-teens.
And it’s ‘Yes’ for giving foreign non-national, non-uniformed fighters and terrorists every single right we enjoy as American citizens.
And ‘Yes’ to appeasement. They’ll be damned before they allow any two bit country or religious zealot to even think about being angry at the U.S. for any rumored or minor discretion
Plus it’s ‘Yes’ to high unemployment, through their love of such things as the ‘living wage’ and of confiscatory taxing of the rich and of businesses that actually do employ people.
And ‘Yes’ to angry, almost psychotic rhetoric...from their side (read Chairman), not yours.
And “Yes’ to taking your money through the threat of jail or fine and sending it to whatever third world country that actors or singers feel is the flavor of the month.
Also a resounding ‘Yes’ to the entity involved in the theft of billions of dollars targeted to feed the needy in such third world countries.
And ‘Yes’ to a government that can now decide for you the ‘quality’ of your life.
And ‘Yes’ to socialism...because of course, it is working so spectacularly in Europe, and just look at the utopia that is the crumbling remnants of the USSR.
They also say ‘Yes’ to condoms passed out like candy in public schools.
On the subject of schools, it’s ‘Yes’ too, for the throwing of even more good money after bad at an institution, that is for the most part, simply an embarrassment to the free world.
And it’s ‘Yes’ to ending voter disenfranchisement...that is as long as you are a black man in Detroit and not a purple fingered woman in Baghdad.
Plus it is ‘Yes’ to class warfare and the peddling of envy.
And ‘Yes’ to the normalization and even government sanction of most types of abnormal sexual behavior.
And ‘Yes’ to a full unbridled repeal of the 2nd amendment.
Also it’s ‘Yes’ to unearned self-esteem and the complete elimination of competition.
And ‘Yes’ to the idea of Democracy...but only when Democrats are in the majority.
And ‘Yes’ to free speech, unless of course you are a Christian hillbilly redneck fascist red-stater.
Plus it is ‘Yes’ to the nuclear arming of dangerous human right abusing regimes.
And ‘Yes’ to giving civil liberties to every ‘undocumented worker’...either ‘law abiding’ or felon.
As far as felons go, it’s a resounding ‘Yes’ to voting rights and cable TV.
And ‘Yes’ they are the party of tolerance, ‘whether you like it or not’.
So you see, they can be ‘The Party of Yes’. I guess it really just depends on how you look at it.

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Bad 'News'?

Uh oh. It looks like they have finally done it. The MSM apparently has in its possession a document known as ‘The Baghdad Briefing’. It apparently implicates President Bush in quiet a number of scurrilous misdeeds. Involving such things as corporate corruption, back door meetings with the Saudi royal family, oil profits, unbid contracts, and such. This could be bad, we’ll have to wait and see.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Howard Dean Will Be Here All Week

I awoke this morning just absolutely stunned by what Governor Dean said yesterday. What is it now, you ask? Well, nothing as far as I know...but that in itself is an aberration of late. Seriously, the man is just plain out of control. Someone needs to reign him in or at the very least increase his meds. Hey, he’s a doctor isn’t he? Hmm, maybe a little self medication? Or maybe that's the problem in the first place.

Hey, just for fun, why don’t we have a giggle or two at the fine Governor’s expense. Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane, enjoy a little nostalgia if you will...

I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for.

This from the leader of ‘The Party of Compassion’?

Republicans are "a pretty monolithic party. They all behave the same. They all look the same. It's pretty much a white Christian party...The Republicans are not very friendly to different kinds of people.

Maybe the loving Governor should tell that to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, ex-Secretary of State Colin Powell, soon to be Appellate Judge Janet Brown, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson, Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez, Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao, Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas, etc.

You think people can work all day and then pick up their kids at child care or wherever and get home and still manage to sandwich in an eight-hour vote? Well Republicans, I guess can do that. Because a lot of them have never made an honest living in their lives.

Millions of Republican small business owners, who daily put their entire lives into their businesses, just love to hear that from you, Dear Mr. Dean.

I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks.

Hmm, how did that whole going after the toothless redneck vote work out for you, sir?

On Bush and 9/11...
I don't know. There are many theories about it. The most interesting theory that I've heard so far, which is nothing more than a theory, I can't-- think it can't be proved, is that he was warned ahead of time by the Saudis.

Here is a ‘nothing more than a theory’ for’re a moron.

The Republicans have the best propaganda out there since Lenin, and they just make stuff up and they keep repeating it, and hope people are going to believe it.

Hey Mr. Dean you missed forgot to tell us how Guantanamo is exactly like the Gulag.

Interesting that you said the following about one man who has never faced trial...
I think Tom DeLay ought to go back to Houston, where he can serve his jail sentence down there.

Yet this about another...
I've resisted pronouncing a sentence before guilt is found. I will have this old-fashioned notion that even with people like Osama, who is very likely to be found guilty, we should do our best not to, in positions of executive power, not to prejudge jury trials.

And who can ever forget this classic?
You know what? You know something? You know something? If you had told us one year ago that we were going to come in third in Iowa, we would have given anything for that....
And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to New Hampshire, we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico! We're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington, D.C.. To take back the White House!
We will not give up. We will not give up in New Hampshire. We will not give up in South Carolina. We will not give up in Arizona or New Mexico, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan! We will not quit now or ever! We want our country back for ordinary Americans. And we're going to win in Massachusetts! And North Carolina! And Missouri! And Arkansas! And Connecticut! And New York! And Ohio!

And that was just for coming in fourth in Iowa..imagine if he’d lost the Presidential election....Thank God for the Brady Bill.

But alas help is on the way...
GuruMaker President Harrison Monarth has spontaneously offered to provide Howard Dean with free private speech coaching sessions, to help him maintain the credibility and trust his public office inspires. Says Monarth, “We would like to show him a communications strategy that would still enable him to 'rally his base' and win hearts and minds with his message, but without having to resort to counterproductive rhetorical tactics like name-calling and 'labeling.' “Clearly,” adds Monarth, “Howard Dean’s attack-language often backfires as he’s had to dig himself from one hole out of another in the last few weeks.”

But in order to get help, you must admit you have a problem in the first place...
Democratic Party boss Howard Dean under fire for blunt comments about Republicans, refused to back down on Wednesday and said Republican critics were trying to divert attention from their own failures..."It's pretty hard to deny that predominantly that's what the Republican Party looks like. It is a party controlled by the conservative Christian agenda," the former Vermont governor said, adding "I'm a white Christian myself."

So don’t give up on your marionette yet, Karl Rove. There still is hope.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Our Take On Jerry Springer

This post is another cooperative effort from the black tainted hearts of G. Blagg and Cracker.
I normally do not believe in attacking people on a personal level, but Cracker has never been held to such a petty morality. But even I find that there are some creatures, with which we unfortunately are doomed to share DNA, that deserve every ounce of vitriol one (or in this case, two) can muster. So here goes.
Jerry Springer is a monkey. Not the cute kind, the kind every little child loves to laugh and point at swinging there at the neighborhood zoo. But the fecal matter tossing, shrieking and screeching, self-pleasuring, embarrassment existing at the other zoo, on the other side of town, on the other side of that plexiglass curtain known as Air America.
He is a bottom feeder. A creature so low he must look skyward to view the bowels of slugs. And if that isn’t bad enough, he continuously displays his incompetence to his tens of listeners daily.
For example, just last week he was lamenting the thought that some people have the gall to believe that just because they had voted a politician into office, then that politician should push for the agenda of those very voters. Perhaps Mr. Springer is unaware his dear America has adopted a Representative government. There are other votes, you see Mr. Springer, than those for ‘Who’s Mother Dresses Too Sexy!’.
Also, last week, he rattled on as to how he was appalled that there were those in the 70's who booed and harassed Vietnam veterans upon their returns home. These feelings seem somewhat fallacious, as he himself was a Vietnam protestor. And protesters, to this day, love to gloat that it was they who ended that bloody and unjust war and ended the ‘baby killers’ wrath. Maybe he should save his feelings of ‘appall’ for ‘I Had Sex With Four Men, Who’s My Baby Daddy?’.
It is odd that Liberals, who love to feel they are the intellectual elite...surely our betters, have to scrape the bottom of the septic tank in order to staff their side of talk radio. Seems to us that Dear Jerry himself has personally had a major hand in the lowering of our society’s culture and morals. His trailer trash orgy, disguised as television entertainment, has itself raised the level of the lowest common denominator to near cultural normalcy. And thus, he is the obvious choice for intelligent morning talk on Air Anti-America. Surely he will have as much success in this endeavor. He has so little distance to travel.
Air America originated as a Leftist alternative to Right-wing zealot radio. As a way to get the Leftist message to the masses. To show America the seriousness of the Progressive’s view of the future. Why is it then that they stock their line up with comedians and low lifes? It may or may not be the choices they have made as to on air personalities that is driving them off the air, but the commentators are the real joke here.
But by far the most frightening aspect of Mr. Springer’s show is that it is the sanest one pouring from that side of the radio dial. And since we both are of the belief that ‘to defeat an enemy one must know him’, we have forced ourselves to listen.
That said, we have found his radio show most disappointing. He continuously drones on about the Iraq ‘war for oil’ and how it is now a ‘quagmire’. His droll delivery and naive commentary are actually physically painful to endure. At least Stuart Smalley makes you a Ron Santos ‘we’re laughing at you, not with you’ sort of way.
So we can say we tried. We opened our minds to his drivel. Opened our hearts to his Europe loving leanings. Opened our souls to his Bush hatred and Rove awe. To no avail. We can bear no more. It sadly has come to the point where we would rather watch Bubba and Billy Jo fight over the last tooth in the trailer park than listen to one more word from this thoughtless chimp.

Oh yeah, we don't think Howard Dean has ever done 'an honest days work' in his life and we're pretty sure he has scabies.

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

More Detainee Complaints

This is a post from the collective warped minds of GBlagg & Cracker...

This just in: Our experts have just returned from Gitmo, and they have handed us a list of detainee complaints, accusations, and demands you will never see in The New York Times..

1) Detainee states that Karl Rove is Osama Bin Laden.
2) Akmed claims that ‘Massengill does make you feel fresh and clean, and that just won’t be tolerated.’
3) Detainees have complained to Amnesty International that they have ‘already given the infidels all the names, addresses, and cell phone numbers for all the members of Al Qaeda. Why then are we still held captive?’
4) Many captives often proclaim to their captors in word and picket signs that ‘surely you are aware abortion is a woman’s right!’
5) Many claim that their love of cheese, cigarettes, and Jerry Lewis gives no clue to their countries of origin.
6) The few detainees with access to radios have demanded the passing of The Fairness Doctrine.
7) Most are appreciative of the cable package offered, but would really love to get the Lifetime Channel.
8) ‘It’s red wine with meat, white wine with fish! It’s red wine with meat, white wine with fish...’
9) Complain that they ‘have worn out their DVD on the Holocaust and those Zionist guards will not give them any more’.
10) Are angry that the warden has now banned Planned Parenthood from passing out more condoms.
11) Nearly all are angry and are demanding more sand box time.
12) There are demands that ‘the guards only smoke more Camels!'
13) Are angry ‘the strippers won’t take Drachmas. And the Hookah bars close at 2 AM!’
14) Claim the Koran states that Rosie O’Donnell is surely a man.
15) Many are angry their Medicaid no longer covers Viagra.
16) Older Muslims in camp have been quietly muttering ‘I hate Bush’ since they received the anti-Social Security reform mailer from AARP. Their fear of privatization is ‘demoralizing’.
17) All are angry that their Northern 2 ply Koran T.P. is being replaced with 1 ply paper simply to reduce camp running costs.
18) Many have stated that not only have they ‘not received the latest issue of The Watchtower, but there is not one single Book of Mormon in the entire library.’
19) Some do not favor the newly instituted ‘change your partner weekly’ rule in dance class.
20) Want the Arabic version of Alpha Bits cereal as a breakfast option.
21) Many state that if they ‘do not begin to receive skin cream they will institute a ‘War for Oil of Olay!’
22) Demand only hot blonde female guards to point at them when they are photographed nude.
23) Are angry Rush will no longer take their calls.
24) Are disappointed in the ‘quality of the Starbuck’s coffee, McChickens, and Krispy Kremes. And when it comes right down to it, these Cuban cigars just suck!’
25) Demand Rumsfeld once again allow them to sell their wares on E-Bay.
26) Are tired of being on permanent suicide watch
27) Most are angry that the ACLU has sued and now they can not say their prayers on government property.
28) Claim that the guards stopping them from escaping has ‘disenfranchised their need for freedom.’

For both of you who upon reading this felt compassion for our Muslim friends, we promise to pass these complaints on to the proper authority. Anybody know The Onion’s e-mail?

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes