Saturday, August 23, 2008

Sorry, Mr. McCain

Alright, Democrats, you win. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll sign whatever papers you need.
I never thought I’d live to say this, but please, my God, let me vote for Hillary Clinton!
What a Machiavellian plan you’ve hatched. Such subtle intrigue. I stand an awe bound simpleton to the machinations of minds capable of such intricate complexity. It echoes of Roveian depth and width. And it has won me over.
Where did you find him? Was he built from the ground up or was it just simple dumb blind luck that you stumbled upon him? For he is perfect. He is the quintessential anti-American elitist populist academic know nothing empty suit. Hold on, maybe I’ve gone too far. I apologize to all empty suits.
But he is perfect. He is not just the “I’ll hold my nose and vote for his opponent” candidate. He is the “I’ll vote for anyone else, just tell me who. Please, I mean anybody else!” candidate. The anti-anti-Manchurian candidate!
But, it was this statement that broke the back of every Conservative clear thinking camel this side of sane:
Everybody's watching what's going on in Beijing right now with the Olympics, think about the amount of money that China has spent on infrastructure. Their ports, their train systems, their airports are vastly the superior to us now, which means if you are a corporation deciding where to do business you're starting to think, "Beijing looks like a pretty good option."

Where in God’s name do I start?
How about here. Mr. Obama, is anybody home? For a man of such purported intellect, what were you thinking? Or does this statement actually show the wading pool depth of your thought?
Surely you understand that Beijing has been rebuilt over the last several years as a showcase to the world. That the Chinese communist government would spare no cost in its people’s cash and cheap back breaking labor to make it so. Do you feel this it what should be done throughout American cities? And as an aid to corporations? This will not sit well with the anti-capitalist wing of your party, my friend.
And, sir, do you really believe that this “superior” infrastructure is the standard for other cities and rural areas throughout China? If so, where did you get this information? Is the idea of a centrally planned government so ingrained in your mind set that you can simply ignore reality? I think I already know the answer to that one.
Did you not know, sir, that as of 2006 the average Chinese worker earned the grand total of $2,756 per year or an impressive $230 per month.* If not, why? Isn’t this little fact a rather important one if your point is to make any sense when viewed from the American model? How do you feel American unions will be reacting to this rather substantial cut in pay? I wonder what types of hours they will be forced to work. Under what circumstances. What sir, do you intend to do with OSHA?
I can’t go on, my head’s starting to hurt. I’ve already admitted defeat. Just give me the ballot, Bill, you win. I’ll vote for your wife, let’s just get the dirty business over with.