Conservative or Liberal?

Being a politico, it is often easy for me to forget or ignore the fact that most Americans are either non-political or (no insult intended) politically ignorant. With this in mind, I have put together 30 questions that will enable the politically illiterate to decide on which side of the fence they reside.
That said, do you believe that...

1. The main reason for public education is
A) to teach American children
B) to keep teachers employed

2. Public celebrations of Christmas are
A) as American as apple pie
B) almost always offensive

3. Backing our soldiers is
A) a duty every American should undertake
B) a political statement in support of the Bush regime’s illegal imperialistic wars

4. The U.N. is a
A) conglomeration of diplomats bent on curbing American power
B) international Democratic body whose laws should hold sway even over national laws and boundaries

5. Homosexuality is
A) a personal choice between two consensual adults
B) a civil right bestowing extra-governmental protection and interference

6. Marriage is
A) between one man and one woman
B) between any two humans no matter what the sex, but definitely not between more than two, or between persons related even if in love, or between consenting species, or...

7. Smoking is
A) a decision made by the individual
B) a societal menace only curbed through intense governmental interference

8. The intake of fatty foods is
A) a decision made by the individual
B) an addiction best curbed through massive class-action law suits

9. Taxation is
A) a necessary evil
B) a way to instill fairness and justice to society

10. War is
A) a necessary evil
B) simply a lack of proper diplomacy

11. Evil is
A) a reality that must be fought when encountered
B) only relative to its cultural experience

12. Men and women are
A) inherently different and synergistic
B) merely a patriarchal societal construct

13. Global warming is
A) the means for government to intrude even more into one’s personal life and pocketbook
B) the end of the world unless government intervenes into one’s personal life and decisions

14. Parenting is
A) a huge personal responsibility to create a decent independent human being
B) a role best left to the professionals

15. Illegal immigration is
A) a huge problem in America for various economic and safety reasons
B) a great way to gain a voting bloc

16. Capitalism is
A) the means for a higher standard of living for all based on enlightened self-interest
B) an unfair system built on the labor of the proletariat to enrich the bourgeoisie

17. 9/11 was
A) a vicious attack on America by Muslim fanatics bent on the destruction of our country
B) a scheme by the bush regime to enrich the military industrial complex

18. Islamo-fascism is
A) a dangerous sect of Islam with a desire to destroy the Great Satan and install a world caliphate
B) a word made up by bigoted Conservatives to besmirch an entire religion

19. Healthcare is
A) a personal responsibility best handled by the individual
B) a social responsibility best handled by a faceless bureaucrat

20. The Constitution is
A) a document enumerating the rights of the individual and placing limits on the powers of government
B) a living document to be interpreted by each generation in order to enforce a political dogma

21. The human fetus is
A) a baby human not yet born to the world
B) a group of cells no different than and due no more rights than a virus or pathogen

22. The Second Amendment is
A) the right of every American to gun ownership for self protection
B) an antiquated idea dangerous to children and society

23. The American military is
A) patriotic American men and women dedicated to the protection of our country and our interests
B) the enforcement arm of American imperialism

24. Profit is
A) the amount of return a business earns as the result of good business practices, correct economic choices, and proper risk evaluation
B) the amount of return allowed a business by governmental bodies

25. Wal-Mart is
A) a great American business profiting by selling decent products to American’s at affordable prices
B) the very face of corrupt corporate Capitalism loosed upon an unsuspecting uneducated public bent on destroying all that is good in the world

26. An individual’s net pay is
A) the amount a worker legally earns after taxes
B) the cash amount left over that the government allows the individual to take as his own

27. The First Amendment means
A) the freedom to speak one’s mind without governmental interference
B) the freedom to speak one’s mind without interference of differing opinions or arguments

28. Gas prices are
A) too high and we should be allowed to find and drill for oil in desolate areas of America and off our coasts
B) not high enough to stop energy hungry fat cat Americans from driving their gas guzzling SUVs

29. Social Security is
A) in dire straits and badly in need of reform
B) just fine, we just need to sock the rich with more taxes to pay their fair share

30. Nuclear power is
A) a great way to power our cities and lower our Carbon footprint
B) another way for energy hungry Americans to ignore their responsibility for the coming global climate apocalypse

If you answered overwhelmingly “A”, you are a Conservative. Most likely with Libertarian leanings. You would have been considered a Democrat during John Kennedy’s administration.
If you answered mostly “B”, you are in the mainstream of today’s Democratic party. You are a Progressive model of virtue.
If you answered equally “A” and “B”, you are truly a Moderate. Please self medicate for the good of yourself and society.