The Progressive Theocracy

I have done it. Finally. I have unlocked the deadbolt, protecting the room, where the answer of how to get the Liberals behind the War on Terror, lies.
What is it that your friendly neighborhood Mooonbat fears more than anything else? What paranoid, the sky is falling, issue is at the center of the Bush hatred so rampant in that community? What is truly the greatest fear of the Narcissist Secularist?
A theocracy, of course! It has been there all along. The key is theocracy.
A Lib simply needs to understand that to lose this war means his very demise. Not necessarily a physical death, but surely the fatality of her agenda.
If the Islamic terrorists win, there will be a theocracy. Though not the kind he fears. Not a Christian theocracy or a Jewish one, but one that will be at odds with literally every single issue she holds dear.
Forget Gay Marriage...hard to get married when you’re dead.
Say good-bye to Roe vs. Wade. And hello to ‘honor killings’. Hello to burkas. Hello to clitoral circumcision.
Anti-religious rhetoric is out the window. As are those who argue the same. Literally.
E.R.A.? Yes, if you mean equal to dogs. But no more working or careers(but then no glass ceiling either. More likely it would be mud or at best adobe). And no drivers licenses. No voting. No Oprah. Or Cosmo. And surely no low rise jeans.
N.O.W.? No!
More money for public schools? Nope, Drachmas for Madrassas.
National health care? Ha, you infidel, Allah will cure you. If it His wish.
We don’t even need to look at pacifism here, do we?
Or sex-ed?
Condoms in schools?
Or minimum wage?
But what of prisoner rights and torture, surely there will be that? Now that you mention it...Yes, of course prisoners will have the right to be tortured.
How about stem cell research? Absolutely. You will be able to research your very own stem cells, held in front of you as your infidel blood fills the street.
But what of ‘compassion’, we exist for ‘compassion’. Allah is all compassionate, you can ask him yourself in one more moment...if you’ll just stop squirming.
Ah, the theocracy of the Progressive. Sounds like a return to the Garden to me. A heaven on Earth. So unlike the threat of the Judeo-Christian America he so fears today.
That’s enough for now. Got to go. I’m late for the afternoon prayer.