The Lawttery

Richard Durbin, honorable senator from Illinois is at it again. He hates guns. Pretty sure he feels the same for most gun owners as well. Those rural Illinois hill rods don’t deserve any respect from him, damn it, as they surely didn’t vote for him.
And the manufacturers, they’re even worse. He’d classify them right along side Halliburton and Karl Rove.

‘Under the Gun Industry Accountability Act, sponsored by Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.), Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), municipalities would be able to sue gun manufacturers for federal costs, as well as local costs related to treating crime vicitms.’

Who cares if that makes about as much sense as suing Oneida when someone is killed in a knife fight.
But Mr. Durbin loves his laws. And in that light, I’ve got just the thing for him.

Dear Mr. Durbin,

Or can I call you Dick? I feel much more comfortable calling you Dick.
I have an idea for you that may seem strange at first, but if you bear with me, I believe it may be of some benefit to you. It is an idea whose time has come. An idea that will bring financial boon to both business and government alike. An idea that might even make America safer.
Are you sitting down, Dick? Here it is...Murder Insurance!
No, not insurance against being murdered, we already have that... it’s known as life insurance. But insurance against murdering. Yes, you read that right Dick. We will enact a law requiring every Illinois, nay every American citizen over the age of 6 to purchase Murder Insurance.
This is an astounding idea if I do say so myself.
Is murder not horrendous? Is it not an enormous drain on loved ones and the state, both financially and emotionally? Is it not possible that any one of us may commit murder at some point in the future? Sure it is highly unlikely, but you must admit it is possible.
Do we not have laws on the books already, Dick, that are based on this exact principle? The seat belt laws, child safety seat laws, uninsured laws, helmet laws... just to name a few. All based upon citing an individual for some action in the present based on some remote possibility of a negative event occurring at some distant point in the future. Laws at their basic levels, based on nothing more that possibilities, probabilities, odds, the whim of chance.
Sure, the nay sayers will argue that you are making criminals of honest men, but we do this all the time. Just look at the above paragraph if you would deny this, Dick. How many Americans are right at this moment in County jails for not having insurance for their automobiles? In jail merely for not owning something now that could possibly be needed on some far off day?
Citizens are ticketed hundreds of times a day for not wearing a seat belt. Why? Again, to protect them from some possibility that may or may not occur at some point some time in the unknowable future. Murder Insurance, Dick, does exactly the same thing.
And it brings in cash. A lot of it. You like cash, right Dick? Plus, the insurance companies would love you, if you know what I mean. And we both know that the more they rake in, the more taxes they’ll pay. You like taxes, right Dick? They are for the children after all. You like children... you do, don’t you Dick?
Plus, it would even have the added benefit of lowering crime. What murderer would dare commit homicide if he feared a raise in his Murder Insurance bill? It works kind of the same way the present gun laws work. Look how many criminals don’t use guns in their crimes because they know it is illegal to do so. Aren’t all our laws aimed at the criminals amongst us, Dick? We don’t make laws to criminalize law abiders, do we Dick?
So before you simply dismiss my idea as insane, take a moment to ponder it. I think if you do, you’ll come to realize that it has possibilities. And aren’t possibilities exactly what we’re talking about here...Dick.

Sincerely,
GBlagg

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes