Global Warming...12,000 B.C.

Scrog: Krung, wake up!!!
Krung: What is it?!? Is the sabertooth in the garbage again?
Scrog: No you fool. This is important.
Krung: It’d better be, the Sun god has not yet even broken the tops of the distant tree line.
Scrog: Yes, yes, I’ve done it. I’ve finished my climate study.
Krung: You’ve done what? Is there no wood to cut. No flint to sharpen?
Scrog: Just listen cave-bear-dung-for-brains. We are in great danger!
Krung: Danger?!? It’s those damn Neanderthals isn’t it? I told you when they moved into the neighborhood...
Scrog: Shut up you fool. It’s not the Neanderthals, though I did catch that young one cave tagging his clan sign on the grotto wall. Anyways, it’s the weather that’s the danger!
Krung: The weather? Not the volcano, or the meteors, or the roving bands of cannibals? What’s it going to do, rain us to death? What’s wrong, did you miss evolving for a generation or two?
Scrog: No, you thick skulled idiot. Haven’t you been noticing how warm it’s been getting lately?
Krung: Oh, that. I thought I was just entering my latter days. You know hot flashes and all.
Scrog: That may be the case, but there’s more to it than that. You see, Asswipealapithecus, I have been studying the seasonal patterns. The Days of Ice are shortening each hunting cycle. And the Days of Low River are getting longer.
Krung: Say it isn’t so! By the Gods of the winds, are you telling me we’re actually going to have to live without the threat of frostbite? How will I be able to sleep at night worrying that I may not lose a toe or two next Ice cycle?
Scrog: Your sarcasm is wasted here you hairy palmed chimp. Have you not noticed the mammoths have been migrating further north. And the bison. And the giant sloth? Our food supply is abandoning the valley.
Krung: Well, why didn’t you just say that? Here’s a little hint, if you want to get someone’s attention, hit them where it hurts. Without food we will surely starve, and the idea of eating your foul carcass and coughing up hair balls for a week has a somewhat limited appeal to me.
Scrog: Why the earth gods ever endowed you with the ability of language I will never know...
Krung: OK, so we’re screwed. In your studies did you find there is anything we can do. Maybe sacrifice a goat or Cro-Magnon or something?
Scrog: Well, actually, it seems if we and all the other clans stop burning wood in our fires, maybe we could slow the warming down a bit.
Krung: Are you mad, man? How are we gonna stay warm? And the sabertooths and cave bears would just love to stop over for a late night snack.
Scrog: So, what you’re saying is you don’t plan to change a thing to stop the coming disaster?
Krung: Well, do you have any proof it would even help? And maybe we haven’t caused this so called warming anyway. Maybe this is just a normal cycle of climatic change. You know, for the god of the spinning stars to speed up evolution. You believe in evolution, don’t you Scrog?
Scrog: Of course I do, Yeti-boy. But you asked for proof. Here’s your proof...Was it not colder in the times of our ancestors?
Krung: That is the way they tell it, anyway. My father would always tell me how he had to walk ten miles through two feet of snow barefoot just to get to the hunting grounds.
Scrog: Yes, mine as well. And did the gods not give our forefathers the gift of fire?
Krung: Mmmm, fire good.
Scrog: Yes, fire good. So, basically ever since our clans have had fire, our climate has been getting warmer. That enough proof for you?
Krung: OK, so you win. It’s getting warmer. We caused it. So what, you wanna dwell on the negative? Why don’t you go grab your flint board and we’ll head to the endless river, I hear the surf’s up!