Libertarian or Liberal

I am not sure if it is due to the nearness of spelling or simply an underlying ignorance of the issues, but I have come across more than just a few of my fellow Americans who are somewhat confused as to the difference between a ‘Libertarian’ and a ‘Liberal’. If you are one of these, let me assure you that there is, in fact, quite some difference. And I, being the compassionate humanitarian that I am, will in this lecture attempt to educate the unenlightened among you.
So class sharpen your pencils, get out your notebooks, and put your thinking caps on. Let us begin...
1) Libertarians do not trust government, but neither do Liberals. So what is the difference here, you ask? Well, it is in the reaction to this distrust. The Libertarian does not trust government so he wants less of it. The Liberal does not trust government, but demands more.
2) Libertarians see the instituting of more and more laws as an affront to the law abiding. Liberals feel every new law will surely cause wrongdoers to change their evil ways.
3) Libertarians understand life is difficult, always has been, and accept it thus. Liberals feel any discomfort is reason for another Federal program.
4) Libertarians believe a man’s change of condition and circumstance must come from the inside. Liberals feel it should be coerced by some external force.
5) Libertarians buy into the idea of independence. Liberals sell dependence.
6) Libertarians believe in sacrifice. Liberals demand imposition.
7) Libertarians believe in personal responsibility. Liberals believe in shared responsibility.
8) Libertarians believe all men are equal. Liberals feel white men are evil.
9) Libertarians believe all men are equal. Liberals feel some men are less so.
10) Libertarians believe freedom is worth fighting for. Liberals, rather, feel appeasement is.
11) Libertarians believe each man spends his own money most wisely. Liberals feel some stranger in Washington has the best interest of their hard earned money at heart.
12) Libertarians believe The U.S. Constitution is a sacred document. Liberals feel the same about the EU Constitution. Although definitely not about the Iraqi Constitution.
13) Libertarians believe a man answers only to himself. Liberals feel he answers to each of his comrades.
14) Libertarians believe hard work creates wealth. Liberals feel the need to forcefully take and redistribute that very same wealth.
15) Libertarians believe capitalism creates wealth. Liberals feel capitalism creates injustice.
16) Libertarians believe you can have their guns when you pry them from their cold dead hands. Liberals feel it is time to establish a Federal Department of Corpse Disarming.
17) Libertarians believe taxes are their own money. Liberals feel taxes are the government’s money.
18) Libertarians believe big corporations are institutions of employment. Liberals feel all corporations are evil.
19) Libertarians believe safety is a personal responsibility. Liberals feel safety should be dictated.
20) Libertarians believe government should work for the governed. Liberals feel the governed should work for the government.
21) Libertarians believe the Legislature enacts law. Senator Dick Durbin feels it is a Jurist’s duty.
Well class, that’s it for today. And don’t forget your homework assignments...chapters 1 through 3, Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.