Illegal Immigration with Pancho the Alien

For those unaware, I have an expert.
Whenever a subject is too big for my tiny human mind to comprehend, it is to him that I turn for clarity. His name is Pancho. He is from the planet Morlo, the eighth planet in the Sagittariun system.

S&S: Hello, Pancho.
Pancho: And hello to you as well. I was just idling my time watching this Jerry Springer Show.
S&S: Uh huh...
Pancho: He was talking to a four hundred pound Rastafari lesbian who feels her trans-gendered daughter dresses too sexy.
S&S: Not surprising, I guess.
Pancho: You humans are one sick demented species.
S&S: Whoa there, Pancho. The Jerry Springer Show is not serious. I think it’s supposed to be some kind of dark low brow attempt at humor.
Pancho: Whew, I was worried there for a minute. I thought some of you humans actually take this guy seriously.
S&S: I, on the other hand, called you here to discuss a truly serious subject.
Pancho: By all means...
S&S: I’m not sure how things are on Morlo, but we here on Earth are split up into communities we call countries. Each country is a separate entity unto itself with well defined borders. I am an American as I reside in the country known as America.
Pancho: All this is extremely interesting, in fact I’m standing on the edge of my seat.
S&S: That’s ‘sitting’. You’re ‘sitting edge of your seat’.
Pancho: Really? How can you tell...we Morlons have no asses.
S&S: Whatever. I brought you here to discuss illegal immigration. America is being invaded by people from other countries swarming across our Southern border.
Pancho: Ah, we Morlons have dealt with much the same problem. For centuries Morlo has been invaded by an alien race we call Mexians. Not all at once and not through armed conflict, but slowly and steadily for ages.
S&S: Yes. This is the problem here, as well. Illegals by the thousands pour into our country, using our social services and paying little in return.
Pancho: Yes, the aliens on Morlon seem much the same. It has gotten so bad, in fact, The Bureau of Panderization has had to issue an edict that all Morlons must do their own yard work and wash their own dishes.
S&S: Oh my. One of the selling points from those who are pro-illegal immigrant in America is that these people will do work Americans won’t.
Pancho: And on Morlon, as well. Past this, the Mexians have become a powerful political force. They are using both Morlon parties against each other in order to gain legal status and rights. There is little either can do...they’re hands are tried.
S&S: ‘Tied’. They are ‘tied’!
Pancho: That’s what I said, neither can get the upper hand. And we Morlons don’t even have hands.
S&S: OK, you win. But I brought you here to help. It seems you Morlons have much the same problem as we here in America. What is your advice?
Pancho: Well, let me start by stating that this problem goes deeper than you can even imagine. On Morlon the Mexians not only take our jobs, but they maneuver themselves into our culture, becoming a necessary part of our economy. They work cheaper than the average Morlon and often harder, as well. Many own property, have mortgages, and are raising their alien offspring on Morlon.
S&S: Go on.
Pancho: To have used The Galactic Federation’s Department of Unionized Alien Repatriotization to round them up and remove them would have been a costly endeavor. Not even looking at the damage to the Morlon economy and banking system.
S&S: So what did you do?
Pancho: We decided to erect a force field around the entire planet.
S&S: Ah, so you cured the problem?
Pancho: Not so fast, don’t jump the spark.
S&S: ‘Shark’, you moron! ‘Shark’!
Pancho: Where? Does it have a lazer beam attached to its head?
S&S: Enough! Your grasp of the English language leaves something to be desired.
Pancho: Not surprising. As English is the fourteenth most difficult language in the entire Galaxy. Just one behind the United States tax code.
S&S: Amen.
Pancho: So we were going to build a force field. That is, until the ICLU stepped in.
S&S: Ok, I’ll bite. The ICLU?
Pancho: Yes the Intergalactic Civil Liberties Union. They threatened to sue over whether it was a violation of Mexian rights to close of Morlo from their illegal immigration. And the Morlon press began calling decent Morlons bigots for simply wanting their planet protected. It was a mess.
S&S: So with such inherent seemingly insurmountable difficulties, what did your people finally do?
Pancho: Ahem...I’m 3'2", with six arms, a spring for a leg, and a trunk growing out of my anus. Let’s just say, I didn’t come to Earth for my health.
S&S: Well said. Do I pay you with a check or cash?
Pancho: Why cash, of course.

*For more Pancho wisdom go here and here.
**Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes