And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

Advertisement - Robert E. Lee Mall, Baton Rouge

Let’s go people, tomorrow is Labor Day and the new Fall clothes season begins.
Get out and loot early, beat the long lines.
-For any of you NAMBLA members, Abercrombie and Fitch is offering young boy’s jeans half off.
-“Southeastern Wal-Marts will not be having any Fall sales this year,” Wal-Mart spokesman Ray Panpillage states. “What’s the point, apparently everything is free.”
-K-Mart will be offering free family portraits for any looters who can prove their New Orleans residency with an appropriate ID card. A $75.00 value.
-Craftsman bolt cutters will be 50% off this holiday weekend at all area Sears and Roebuck stores. Call ahead for availability.
-Marshall Fields is offering $25.00 gift cards with all their moisturizing products. Cosmetician Lou Katme states, “I don’t know why, but we just can’t seem to give this stuff away right now.”
-Toys ‘R’ Us is offering a free ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card with the purchase of any Milton Bradley board game.
-The Mall Hallmark store has just received a double order of ‘Thank You’ cards. Store owner June Evercall is sure they will be flying off the shelves at her discounted price of $9.11 a box.
-Bass Pro Shops will be donating $50.00 to the hurricane Katrina relief fund with the purchase of any of its FUBU Mossy Oak Kevlar turkey hunting outerwear.

*The food court will remain closed for the holiday weekend and the near future. But we here at The Robert E. Lee Mall feel it will be reopening soon, now that the Halliburton Co. has acquired a no bid contract for repairs.