Islamo-Leftists(Or The March of the Anti-Christ)

It is my belief that the Left in this country is aiding and abetting the Fundamentalist Islamic enemy. In its words and deeds it defends and emboldens the greatest evil that this world presently faces. This is not a novel idea. It has been argued pro and con by wiser men then I. That said, still this is my belief. I also believe few on the Left have put much thought into the obvious outcomes, if in fact, their beloved Wahhabi Muslims actually do gain the upper hand.
In many of my posts here and over at The Wide Awakes, I deal with the inherent problems the Left will face if this outcome does finally come to fruition. You see, these two groups could not be more different. If ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’, then hatred of Bush is truly their only connecting factor.
But I am here to alleviate this conundrum. I have an idea. And I’m sure The Honorable Mr. Frist will just love it. Because, you see, it uses science in a most unethical, anti-conservative way. Here is what I suggest...Merge the DNA of Bin Laden and Ted Kennedy. What a creature would then be unleashed upon the Earth. With its powers of persuasion and oration it could bring together these seemingly opposing ideologies to assure a more utopian future, where Progressives and Islamo-Fascists can live together in peace.
But it won’t be easy for Ted Laden, so I am offering the following ideas to ease what will most likely be a very rocky transition....
1) Let us begin with the idea of abortion. Libs surely will not want to give up a ‘woman’s right to choose’. And Muslims will most likely be horrified and enraged at the very idea. So here is my idea. Fetal Suicide Vests. I amaze myself sometimes...hell, everyone’s a winner! The expectant mother who just can’t be bothered by an unwanted parasite will get her wish. The Muslim angry at the woman for not knowing her proper place will get what he wants. And the fetus, of course, gets its 70 virgins. Again, everyone’s a winner!
2) This one might take a little more salesmanship, but I’m sure Ted Laden, born with the Left’s fine honed powers of diplomacy, could make even this idea work. The Fundamentalist Atheist. What greater weapon, he could posit, then one who will gladly blow himself up for absolutely nothing! In fact, with its zealotry for moral relativism and nihilism it becomes the perfect zombie of death. Brain dead through unresolved contradiction, it could be used by either the Left or Islamo-Fascists to destroy any lingering remnants of the infidel Christian ideology.
3) This is where Ted Laden will have to return to his humble beginnings. He will need the help of his scientist parents. He must invent the She-Male. No, not the kind you see on ‘Doctor 90210', but an actual third sex. It will not be female, so it will not have to abide by that section of Sharia Law. But it will not be male, either, so it can still claim victimhood by the patriarchal society. It would be a screaming harpy of a creature that could be editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan and have the balls to do it right.
4) Next we have a matter of simple definition. It could be know as Islamic Euphemism. Ted Laden will have to redefine such terms as ‘tolerance’ and ‘compassion’ in order to make both sides happy. So ‘tolerance’ could then mean-‘tolerant of anything other than Anglo-Saxon Christian pro-Zionist neo-cons’. And ‘compassion’-‘taking all property by force from Anglo-Saxon Christian pro-Zionist neo-cons and distributing it to feed starving children...of Muslims’.
Still, I am sure Ted Laden will have further roadblocks to overcome (such as gay marriage, capital punishment, anything-goes culture, etc.), but as they say ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. And I’m just guessing here, neither was Hell.

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes