The Neo-Lib

I'm sure it will be surprising to many, but I have a few friends and unfortunately even a family member or two, who would self-describe themselves as Democrats. Reread that last sentence and emphasize ‘self-describe themselves as Democrats’. I add this because I believe most have no idea what the term Democrat actually implies in modern day America. What the essence of that creature is, what it believes, what it fights for. So I have taken the burden, yea the grave responsibility, upon my broad and ample shoulders to open your and their eyes to the reality of what the term ‘Democrat’ in 21st century America truly signifies. Enjoy.

-You must fight harder to protect the lives of child rapists, multiple murderers, channel catfish, and chickens than the lives of innocent human babies and helpless adults.

-You must actually root for American losses in combat and reputation throughout the globe.

-You must hold a blind eye to the negative, life impacting effects of the welfare state. These non-existent effects include such things as actually hurting those it originally had attempted to help, out of wedlock births and fatherless children, teen pregnancy, immigration, generational unemployment, lack of motivation, and the loss of real world work experience.

-You must walk lock step with the economy busting theory of redistribution of wealth while all the while denying you are a socialist.

-You must dread the unquestioned looming Christian theocracy all the while embracing the life affirming prospect of an Islamic theocracy.

-You must nostalgically long for a more European America. Ignoring, of course, the sagging economies and unemployment, falling standards of living , declining productivity, anti-Semitism, and spiritual malaise.

-You must unearth trifling insults to Women’s Rights here at home while ignoring female genital mutilation, honor killings, sex slave trade, and women’s lack of basic freedoms elsewhere.

-You must hate Bush. Find no merit in any single one of his programs. Believe every appointment he has made, whether judge, department secretary, or diplomat, is an idiot and incapable of doing his/her job. You must believe every move he makes is to enrich ‘his oil buddies’ or ‘friends on Wall Street’. You must believe he is not only a complete bumbling fool, but also a Machiavellian evil genius...Oh yeah, while at the very same time being a pawn of the malevolent super villain Karl Rove.

-You must sincerely believe the government can and will spend your money more effectively than you yourself ever could. Ignoring such things as Boston’s Big Dig, Chicago’s Millennium Park Cloud Gate Sculpture, falling student test scores, the Amtrak money pit, and government redundancy to name just a few.

-You believe in freedom of speech so long as that speech does not include Fox News, on campus Right wing ideals, anti-Darwinism, prayer, the hint of victimization of gays/women/minorities/Muslims/etc., talk radio, pro-American history in the classroom, or any possible differences between the sexes.

-You must have an ambiguous feeling toward Democracy. Denying it at times (see here and here) and screaming about it’s demise at others.

-You must condone anti-social behavior under the pretense of tolerance while still wondering at the loss and utter lack of social discourse.

-You must believe that the best way to secure the future and safety of your children and/or grandchildren is to cede our country’s autonomy and military power to the anti-American whims of the U.N.

-You must back unions on any issue at any cost even if this costs you money, insults your common sense, or costs your children a good education.

-You must believe that we Americans are the cause of 9/11, not jihadist Muslim fundamentalists.

-You must believe that most all heterosexual sex is rape.

-You must believe every person is a victim. The trick is in uncovering one’s victimhood and finding a way to force others to pay for it.

-You must wear your compassion like a medal and be willing to demand the government institute your humane caring on others through threat of fine or jail.

If you see yourself in any of these examples, more power to you. Here is Howard Dean's web site. Join up. But if you are like many 'Democrats', and really had no idea your party now stands for these inane ideas and stances, do something about it. Get informed. Get angry. And for God's sakes take back your damned party.

Crossposted @ The Wide Awakes