Kill Tori

Thanks to Savetoby.com for the inspiration for this post.

Dear Culture of Death(you know who you are),

My name is Mike Sharko. And I have an offer I’m sure you can’t and won’t refuse.

I have, with personal interest, been watching the story that has dominated the news, the blogosphere, and the water cooler talk as late.
And I have listened with fervor to the arguments made by the 'let her die with dignity'/'let the courts decide'/'just kill the bitch already' crowds.
These arguments are often well thought out and forwarded with subtleness and style. They obviously mirror the true feelings, moral compasses, and passions of the authors.

Arguments such as ‘just let the poor suffering creature die’(although I am at a loss to quite understand that if she truly is brain dead, in a coma, or not conscious; how she can even be suffering). Or ‘she is costing we tax payers of this country hundreds of thousands of dollars that could be better used for those with a chance to improve or even for the children’. Or ‘this is for the husband to decide, what has happened to the respect for rights of a spouse in this country’(although, again, where is this man’s respect for marriage...he is living with a woman and has two children by her)? Or ‘this is for the courts to decide, you Christian zealots and Republicans should have no power here’. Or ‘God I’m sick of this story, just kill the vegetable already’. Or ‘starvation is painless and the victim feels euphoria. Haven’t you heard the experts?’.

All these arguments are extremely powerful and I am sure their authors would be willing to back them with their hearts, their votes, and their very lives if necessary. And that is where you come in.

I mentioned before that I have an offer for you. But first a little background.

I have a wife, her name is Tori. As you may have surmised, she has been in a Permanent Vegetative State for some years now. Before ‘the accident’ she made me promise that if she was ever in a vegetative state that I would not let her live that way. I am rather sure she is suffering dearly. In fact, I am absolutely sure she sits in horror behind those empty eyes in a prison she can not escape.

I have no money, so her care is being paid by Medicare. And it is not cheap. It has easily run into the millions of dollars over the span of her care.

This case may soon be headed for the courts thus adding even more expense to the American taxpayer.

Her entire family is in agreement that it would be better for her just to pass on. To finally let her soul be freed and at last to let her meet her God. But I am not so sure.

And that is where you come in.

I know in your heart of hearts you are screaming right now to just let this poor woman pass. But I have other plans. I promise you that I will use my power as the spouse of Tori to keep her alive indefinitely. I will fight this case from the level of the local courts to the very Supreme Court if I must. I will do everything in my power to keep her at the center of the media blitz, with pitiful pictures and videos, doctors opinions, and blog posts. I will unite with the religious zealots and conservative Republicans to extend Tori’s infernal suffering. I swear to you, I will not tire.

Unless I can raise five million dollars. From you.

I am sure that you who truly believe in her need to die will be willing to make a substantial donation in order for this not to happen. I believe that you have honestly invested your ideals with your faith and passion and integrity, so I am equally sure you will be willing to invest in this small venture with your hard earned American dollars. You mustn’t let this foul mutant live. It is most obvious that you must, if you have the of honor your convictions as I am most assured you do, surely donate.

There are multiple reasons to send me your remittance.

To let her die with the dignity that is dehydration. The cracking of skin, the failure of organs, the poisoning of the blood, the drying of the eyeballs...you know, that dignity.

To allow Tori to feel the peaceful ‘euphoria’ of starvation.

To save your tax dollars, your vacation to Cabo ain’t gonna be cheap.

To protect the spousal rights. Men should always have the right to end their wives life...right N.O.W.?.

To reinforce the power of the courts. Who should decide life and death issues if not some egotistical black robed ex lawyer?.

To kick the ass of those damned Republicans and religious nut bags.

To get this tired story off the airwaves...My God, I don't know about you, but I haven’t got my Paris Hilton update in weeks.

You will not be alone in your donations as my live in girlfriend has already donated a ten spot and our illegitimate children are out mowing lawns this very minute to do their part.

Just send a money order, no checks please, to:

The Mike Sharko Fund
P.O. Box 987
123 Anywhere Ln.
Nowheresville, Wa 54321

This is a very serious issue and you must act quickly. So remember get me that money now or the bitch lives.