From Gblagg’s 'Little Book of Liberal Euphemism Part III'

It is my unwavering belief that words do, in fact, have meaning. Unfortunately, Liberals have usurped our language and with it the meanings of many of our words and terms. With that, I give you Gblagg’s 'Little Book of Liberal Euphemism Part III' (for parts I and II go here and here).

Free Speech: any idea or opinion that should in no way be exposed to dispute, disagreement, or consequence as this would be an obvious form of censorship(see Censorship) and/or a cause of injury to the speaker’s self-esteem(see Self-Esteem). DOES NOT, however, include the speech of those parties in disagreement.

Censorship: simply the threat of dispute or disagreement with and/or the mere fear of consequence arising from any idea or opinion. DOES NOT require any physical prevention from the presentation of idea or opinion.

Self-Esteem: that part of the human psyche which is developed not by the accomplishments of overcoming weaknesses and challenges, but from the disregarding of failings and deifying of victimization.

Satire: Any of a wide range of anti-establishment opinion, including but not limited to, insulting representations of female African-American Secretaries of State and armless and legless American soldiers. Can not, however, include likenesses of prophets wearing turbans shaped like suicide bombs.

Evil: an outmoded idea that has no basis in reality except as in the actual use of the word in context (i.e. “It is evil to call Islamo-fascists evil”) or when referring to any member of the Bush regime.

Activist: a member of the American proletariat whose main stream beliefs embrace the compassionate values of socialism(see Socialism), animal rights, atheism, euthanasia, and pro-choice in all its forms.

Wiretapping of Terrorists and their Domestic Contacts: the NSA’s illegal eavesdropping of telephone conversations between law abiding American citizens. The fact that this has never happened in no way changes the definition of the term.

Fascism: uh, George Bush, duh....

Socialism: the form of government our founding fathers actually had in mind. What the hell else can ‘General Welfare’ mean?

Hurricane: a open invitation from Mother Nature for Progressives to look compassionate by means of harping on global warming, race politics, and the greedy rich while actually doing little to improve the situation.

Weather: in any and all its forms, proof of Global Warming(see Global Warming). I.E. If it is extremely hot out, one would expect this from Global Warming; or if there is a cold snap, here’s further proof of Global Warming.

Global Warming: The warming (or is it cooling, I forget) of Earth caused only by the excesses of man. Ignoring, of course, the natural cycles of heating and cooling that have been the normal state of nature since the beginning of Earth itself.

Hollywood: the bastion of righteousness where a clear thinking non-hating comrade should look to in order find a true morality and an ethical ideology. Why waste one’s time studying mythical religions when all the answers are right there for $7.95...and they come with popcorn and a Coke.

Economics: the study of the period of time it will take for a Capitalist society to produce enough wealth so that Socialism might actually work...and how long it will take for Socialism to destroy that wealth.

Euthanasia: who says we don’t have ideas on lowering health care costs. And hell, the Norwegians do it.

Universal Health Care: same thing we have at present, but now the rich have to pay for that, too.

Energy Policy: uh, whatever Bush is for, we’re against. Oh yeah, and those poor caribou...