The Ever Expanding Bill of Rights

OK, I get it.
We have a right to health care. We have a right to higher education. We have a right to a decent job. We have a right to a living wage. We have a right to abortion. We have a right to government sponsored HDTV. We have a right not to feel offended. Etc., etc., etc.
If one does not believe the above are basic American rights, either openly stated or merely hinted at in our shared Constitution, one need only find the nearest Liberal and simply ask ‘em. He or she will quickly set you straight(did I say straight? Whoops, that was very heterocentrist of me.).
So with the above in mind, I have decided to do my part and save the Social Security system.
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ you ask. ‘What on God’s green Earth does one thing have to do with the other?’
Well sit back, put American Idol on mute, scratch what itches, and I will gladly explain.
You see, if we agree that these rights are inherent to every American, and I am sure that we do, then we are forced to face this simple fact...That these rights did not begin the moment we were born (sorry Leftie narcissists the Earth does instead revolve around the Sun). That these rights have existed since the writing of the constitution. Therefore, our parents and their parents before them possessed these rights as well.
With this in mind, can we not see that our forefathers have been cruelly and most unusually denied their very birthrights? Denied the advantages of the rights we as Progressive Americans have been privy to? Well, I would aver, most assuredly so!
So what should we as fair Americans do to redress this grave injustice?
Reparations, of course. Reparations. Financial redress. To every baby boomer. To every senior citizen. To every octogenarian.
Huge, fat checks befitting the wrongs our elders have had to endure.
So here we have it. No more need for Social Security checks for our nation’s elderly, just a massive one time retribution payment for rights not granted.
Paid for, of course, by those Americans lucky enough to be living productive, profitable lives...Hang on, that’s who’s paying now. Oh, just never mind then.