Chronicles of My Neighbor Part I

My neighbor has weapons of mass destruction. Myself and the rest of the neighborhood know this, he’s used then on his own children. He has ricin, anthrax, and small pox. We’re pretty sure his wife has botox.
I should do something about it, but the others say we should just ignore him. They say he just wants attention. So we’ve agreed not to wave at him when he’s out mowing the lawn. I saw him once at the grocery store and he said ‘hi’. I didn’t know what to do so I knocked out his Scuds and ran to my truck.
He invaded Karl’s house just South of his property a few years ago. Karl says he just wanted to borrow a cup of oil, but the rest of us know differently. He sure as hell didn’t get invited to the block party that year.
I know we should be more tolerant, him being a Catholic and all, but just look at all the problems those people cause. Damn warmongers. And, you know, they hate Democracy. Just who gets to vote for pope? Not the little guy that’s for sure.
I saw him this morning, out by his car. He was messing with something under the hood. Bet it’s a car bomb. Probably gonna ram his old Pacer into the Walmart. His sixteen year old son works there. Bet he’s mad he’s not earning a living wage. Looks like I’ll be shopping a Target for awhile.