30 Seconds of Hell

Does everyone hate commercials as much as I do? They drive me nuts. They rarely influence me to buy the product they peddle...in fact, they usually have the exact opposite effect. Below is a short list of my thoughts on some of my favorites.

-Hey Cialis, here’s a hint...If I have an erection that lasts more than four hours, I’m not going to see a doctor, I’m going to join a circus.

-Do you think the chick in that herpes commercial called her mom when she got the part? I would have loved to hear that conversation...
Chick: Mom, uh, I just got the lead in a commercial.
Mom: That’s great honey, I’m so proud of you.
Chick: Thanks, but...
Mom: Well, what’s the part?
Chick: Uh, I play a girl with herpes...
Mom: Um, that’s nice...here talk to your dad...
Chick: I’ll never work again will I mom?

-What is it about people in commercials dancing? Everybody dances in commercials. For no damn apparent reason. Ooh, I just got shocks for my Hundia, hey let’s lambada. Thanks, Chicago Wellness Center, I have colon cancer...think I’ll shake that bootie. Got to take my dog to the vet...you know what time it is...let’s grind ‘sum peppa! Aunt Flo’s in town, gonna shake her loose.

-Here’s a tip for the Captain Morgan admen...I realize you are trying to point out responsible drinking, but truthfully, I will now surely avoid drinking your rum just to be sure I never end up with a drunken frat boy riding my back.

-Where do these advertisers get their actors? Must be from the same agency. Couldn’t they at least try to find a male who is not an inept, couch potato, who can’t order insurance or stop himself from eating the take out before he gets home. Or a female who is not so much smarter than her oafish husband, who might let him vacuum once I awhile, or even let him do some cooking. These problems must arise from the actual actors they choose, as the scenarios bare little resemblance to any real world I know.

Enough for now...