Random Thoughts

Just some random thoughts to lighten your season...

-I’ve done it, I’ve figured out a way to fix social security. Get the liberals to stop killing all the future wage earners. They call them fetuses, I call them my retirement.

-Overheard at Macy’s...
Saleswoman: Sir, I think your wife would just love this for her X-mas present.
Me: Gee, swell, I think you’re right. A very nice Christmas present.
Saleswoman: Yes, the perfect X-mas gift....
Me: Fantastic, I’ll take it. Merry Christmas.
Saleswoman: Super. Now you have a ‘Happy Holiday’!
Me: ARRGGGHHH.

-Ever notice Leftists and peaceniks never verbally attack the truly evil? (In the voice of Andy Rooney) Why is that? Here’s why...because they know they would be in danger if they did. They assault the U.S. because they know it’s safe. They understand that we are a country of justice and their opinions are safely stated here. Just one time I would like just one of them to go to Iran and scream at the top of his/her lungs that Muslim women are treated like dogs. I’m holding my breath.

-A little wisdom...Life is a gift, treat it like one. You are happy when you decide to be. It is not a place, it is an attitude.

-If you don’t listen to Dr. Laura, start. She is the most wise human on the face of the Earth. Give her a week, you’ll be hooked.

-People without dogs scare me. Bet John Wayne Gacy didn’t have a dog. Well, maybe a poodle.

-While I’m thinking about dogs....Does Snoop Doggey Dog have a talent?

-I’ll sign off on this little known fact: Paris Hilton has size 11 feet. Don’t know why, but that strikes me as funny.