Secret Meeting

Well here we go again….the issue that would not die-“A War For Oil.” It’s been popping up on the airwaves as of late so I guess I must comment on it. Well that, and I’m tired of Anonymous posting his letters to Mr. Rather on my website. So here it is an overheard secret meeting of the DNC.

Madeleine Albright: Now John, we have only 14 days until the election and we have yet to hammer the bush administration on an issue very important to our base.

George Stephanopoulos: What are you talking about, Madeline. We’ve scared the elderly with the Bush regimes threat of stealing their social security…

Dan Rather: Yes, and we’ve struck fear in the hearts of the young voters with GW’s secret plan for a draft….’The January Surprise’…my idea by the way.

Jon Stewart: And we’ve got the middle class wetting themselves in the fear of outsourcing, no healthcare, and the brutal economy.

Ms. Albright: Yes, but we’ve left our constituency in the cold on one key issue they hold dear…The War For Oil.

John Kerry: Ah, yes, how could we have let this slip? Someone’s head will roll….

Ted Koppel: But, Mr. President…er…uh..I mean Mr. Kerry, we can still hit them hard on this issue.

Kerry: Yes, Ted, you have an idea…

Mr. Koppel: Well how about this as a lead line on Nightline tonight….John Kerry stated in Ohio today:

“As every American is aware George Bush rushed into this war, rushed in without an exit strategy. Yes, my fellow Americans he has rushed into the War for Oil! His administration is so inept, they could not even get the War for Oil right. Have you seen the gas prices lately? They are astronomical. He has attacked and taken over an entire country just to appease his oil buddies and instead of the prices at the pump going lower, they have risen. He and his ilk of heavy-handed bunglers could not even properly handle a simple conspiracy. Well, my fellow Americans, we can do better. Under a John Kerry presidency we will not only fight the War for Oil, we will win it. We have a plan.”


Kerry: Ted, I like it. Any other ideas?

Maureen Dowd: How about this…for the women’s vote. A War for Oil of Olay! We women would love it. We could arrest the spread of insurgents and wrinkles all in one fell swoop!

Susan Sarandon: Yeah, and along the same lines…A War for Baby Oil…Just think, then we wouldn’t have to be killing babies to get it!

Bruce Springsteen: Uh, how ‘bout a War for the Houston Oiler’s” then…

John Mellencamp: Bruce, they’re the Texans now, you idiot!

Kerry: Enough! These are all good ideas. I’ll pass them by Ted Kennedy and if he gives the OK, we’re all good.

Well, as you can see, the great minds are hare at work planning for a better America.