2nd Letter to Dan Rather @ CBS News

Dear Mr. Rather,

I am still waiting for a reply from you or your people in regards to my last correspondence. I’m sure there has just been some sort of mix up or maybe one of your producers did not understand the importance of the story. So I am resending it to you along with my latest earthshaking story on the reprehensible actions of the Bush regime.

It has been learned today through a confidential source that George Bush and his science advisor John H. Marburger, met recently at Mr. Bush’s estate outside of Abilene Texas. This source has forwarded this record of the conversation between the two:

Bush: He He He…you wanted to see me?

Marburger: Cheney sent me. We were discussing what to do about the Social Security crisis as per your edict.

Bush: OOOOOH Cheney…I like that guy.

Marburger: Yeah, well. He seemed to like an idea I’d had and thought you might be interested.

Bush: Interested, yeah interested…I hope it involves furry monkeys.

Marburger: Uh..No..sorry sir….

Bush: He He He…monkeys are funny…

Marburger: Yes sir, but I’m here about the Social Security problem. You sent a memo asking your advisors if they had any ideas on how to solve it.

Bush: Memo, huh? That’s a funny word ‘Memo.’…

Marburger: Of course it is sir, but about Social Security…

Bush: Oh, you mean Social Security…well son that’s serious business. ya’ know hard work…by hard workin’ people…workin’ hard…

Marburger: Well, yes it is sir, but…

Bush: And you’re here with a plan I’ll betcha…

Marburger: Yes sir. Very good. That is correct. I believe there is a way to lower the amount of government expenditures to the beneficiaries….

Bush: ‘Beneficiaries’, that’s a big Yankee word ain’t it?

Marburger: Uh….yes?

Bush: OK, so who are ya’ again.

Marburger: I’m your Science advisor, Marburger, sir…..

Bush: Marburger, eh, is that some kinda Angus….

Marburger: Sir, the issue of Social Security…

Bush: Yeah, he he he, you got us ‘a plan fer it.

Marburger: Yes sir. Who is it that receives the most from the Social Security Fund?

Bush: I know this one. It’s old folks.

Marburger: Uh huh….And how could we lower the amount of benefits?

Bush: You’ve done it haven’t you….My God, man, you’ve discovered the fountain of youth!

Marburger: Well, no sir we haven’t. But if we could just get rid of a large number if beneficiaries, then the fund would surely stabilize.

Bush: So no fountain of youth?

Marburger: No sir…

Bush: And no monkeys?

Marburger: No sir…try to concentrate. What do old people need this time of year to survive the winter?

Bush: Igloos? I always wanted an igloo…had one flown down here to the ranch, but it melted,
and windows…they ain’t got no windows…

Marburger: NO SIR…NOT IGLOOS! Flu shots. If we can stop the old people from getting their flu shots many will not survive the winter. Thus saving Social Security..and sir, old people mostly vote Democratic.

Bush: He he he…strategery!

So Dan as you can surmise from the above conversation, the reigning regime is up to no good. The aged
in this country are under attack. It is our duty to get this out, our comrades must be informed.
Oh, and no need to verify the above, I have 2 sources…..the source and of course me….that makes 2, right?
Also, Dan if we can get this out before the election ABC News political director, Mark Halperin, would be positively elated.

Signed,
Anonymous