Demand Your Rights II

(A little recap…as you may remember I have a neighbor with just wonderful tomatoes. Mine however are not up to such high standards and thought it was unfair for him to keep all these miracles to himself. I then wrote my congressmen demanding they write a law to take his tomatoes from him and spread them around to those of us more unfortunate.)

And it came to pass…the “Tomato Law” that is. In this case the squeaky wheel(barrow) did get the oil. Sure there was some question about the constitutionality of it, but the 9th District Court of Appeals of California took care of that and away we went. I have to say I was almost giddy with anticipation just sitting there on my Lazy Boy and waiting for my delicious bounty to be delivered to my front door.
It was then I heard a disturbance coming from the area of my back yard. I went to investigate and found my neighbor standing in his garden going to town with a dangerous looking hatchet. One after another his beautiful tomato plants were being torn to shreds.
“What in the world are you doing?” I asked.
“Well, I’ll be darned if I’m going to let the government come on to my property, take all my tomatoes, and give them to some lazy lay abouts!” he replied.
He continued this devastation until every single one of his plants was destroyed.
Stunned, I retreated to the safety of my home where upon entering the rear door heard a tumult coming from the front. I hurried to the entry door to find three ATF agents, armed with weapons straight from some Assault Weapons Ban nightmare, pounding on it like I was wanted for murder. They said they had come to take my tomatoes as per the newly enacted law. They obviously saw the look of puzzlement on my face as another man with the letters IVS (I took to mean Internal Vegetable Service) stepped forward. He handed me a document signed by a judge authorizing him to seize MY tomato plants for future dissemination. I was staggered…then it hit me that with my neighbors tomatoes destroyed they had come for mine. THIS WOULD NOT STAND!
If you guessed that I sat right down and wrote my congressmen you win the prize. I demanded this law be repealed as it targeted the little man and THAT IS UNAMERICAN!
Days went by as I awaited the replies and sure enough they came. My Republican senator quipped something about personal responsibility and the law of unintended consequences and that he was putting my name on some list or other. However, my Democrat Senator came through for me once again. He promised to look at the law as it obviously was in need of reform….maybe only taking tomatoes from the top 10% of growers he suggested. I was elated. The system had worked again.