Hopefully It Happens Soon

Satan: Welcome Arafat you little pansy.

Yasser: Wha?? Where am I? Where are my virgins?

Satan: Virgins? None here I’m afraid. Well, unless you include your rectum and that won’t be one for long.

YA: This can’t be right. This isn’t heaven. Where’s Mohammed?

Satan: He ain’t here. Last time I saw him he was giving Jesus a swirly screaming something about a ‘liquid jihad’. Those two.....

YA: Why is it so hot, it must be 500 degrees in here? And what’s with all the screaming and wailing?

Satan: Actually, Yasser, it’s winter down here...I must say August is just hell. And the wailing...you’ll understand that soon enough...have I introduced you to your cellie Johnny Holmes?

YA: You can’t do this to me..I’m Yasser Arafat for God’s sakes!

Satan: Please do not curse in here Yasser. And, Oh, I can do this to you. Let me read for a moment from the scroll of your crimes:

You spent most of your petty life acquiring and grasping for power while the people you were supposedly there to help lived in squalor or blew themselves up. You killed the innocent and stole from your own people. You stood in the way of the peace process at every turn. Your fear and hatred spread from your puny land to envelope the entire middle east and much of the world.

My, my, maybe I’m in the wrong business, you got me beat hands down. Hey, Adolf, c’mon over here you gotta meet this guy.

YA: What’s going to happen to me?

Satan: Oh, don’t worry about that. On the positive side, you can’t die down here. So you don’t have that to worry about. On the negative side, of course, that means you will be tortured for an eternity!

YA: Eternity..that’s a long time, huh?

Satan: Yes, oh yes, it is. Hey, Bundy bring that hot poker over here!

Hitler: Hey, you’re kind of cute!

YA: YAAAARGH!!!!